How many times have you, as a cyclist, been yelled at by a driver with the unbelievably funny and original “Get some road tax” joke? It’s hilarious, right? I laughed so hard one time that a bit of wee came out. Unsurprisingly, Twitter is full of this sort of thing, and the cyclists’ vitriolic “Road tax doesn’t exist” argument is getting to be about as tedious.
The cyclists are, on this occasion, right. Road tax doesn’t exist. It hasn’t done since being abolished in 1937, when Winston Churchill attempted to remove the ridiculous sense of entitlement that many drivers feel towards roads.
I’m bored shitless by all the jokes. Sometimes, they’re not even jokes. Sometimes, drivers genuinely believe that cars/lorrys/vans have more right to be on the road than a bicycle. I’ve heard it all, and it’s fucking boring me. I drive a zero-rated ambulance, but no-one has ever told me that it shouldn’t be on the road because the NHS hasn’t paid road tax. Most of them shouldn’t be on the road, because they’re buggered, but that’s a different matter all together.
So, dear driver, here’s why you need to rethink this whole tax disc bullshit…
46% of the population have access to a bicycle. That’s a lot of bikes. All of them will be zero-rated, as the amount you pay relates directly to the co2 emissions that come from the arse-end of your car. What you are proposing, is that cyclists display a circular piece of paper, of no value, for which they don’t have to pay. Not a penny. The only cost to the cyclist is that it will look fucking shit on their bike.
However, someone will have to pay for this ugly nonsense, and that someone will be you. The driver. The people that demanded this ridiculous, aesthetically-unpleasant eyesore. It is estimated that the administration costs of supplying every bicycle in the land with this worthless piece of paper will be approximately £125m. One hundred and twenty-five million pounds, divided by you and all your mates, your mum, your boss and, yes, me. I own a car too.
I will be fucking furious if I have to pay extra because you are an idiot.